15. The Legend of Sleepy Orgullo

ORGULLO
O N L i N E
4 September 2004

Come forth, kids. Welcome to the Kingdom of Orgullo, a world filled with excitement, darkness, lust, love, and life. Read on if you have the guts.

The Legend of Sleepy Orgullo

Once upon a time, in a not-so-distant Kingdom of Orgullo, there lived quite a few people who took pride in being the children of their mothers. No one really knows where the kingdom was specifically located, for it was supposed to be hidden by the strongest magick around--the Cyberspacia. Not a single soul in this kingdom was even allowed to speak of the "C" word. The Elders used to say that speaking of the unspeakable word would confuse the minds of anyone in this community.

It was believed that the Kingdom was cursed by an evil enchantress named La Lola Verano. Eons ago, the people in this community dealt with the Evil Enchantress on a daily basis. The enchantress lived in a secluded part of the woods, alone. No other sorcerers or witches could stand the air in that swamp named Halitoshire. Throughout time, the Evil Enchantress felt depressed and the depression sank in until she finally learned how to concoct the weapon of mass destruction--in her mouth. This specialty potion of hers scared off many people, including the members of the Royal Family and the Knights of the Circle of Hispanistas. Everyone wanted peace and a fresh start--without the scary, vein-y, and grumpy old Evil Enchantress. Suffering was utterly unbelievable.

The King-and-Queen (in this unique kingdom there was only one) called El Mamá de Baptiste tried to calm down his loyal subjects, even though he knew that there was another faction that challenged his/her leadership. The faction, named Tiamsky Middle Earth, had relations with the Evil Enchantress, go figure. The King-and-Queen said, "Don't fret. I made it through as a younger soldier/diva when we were in battle." The people who are gathered in the castle's Salón de Chikka were alarmed, including the Queen (his inner diva). They asked in unison, "How was it? Did she use that powerful potion in her mouth?" The tension in the room as the monarch slowly flipped his/her blow-dried hair and answered, "Yes. It was nasty. Fatal. But I survived. Somehow, I've always known that I will survive. My godmother Gloria Gaynor said so." A thunderous applause filled the room as the King-and-Queen sang and danced away, and the people hoped for better times.

There were a lot of reasons why they hoped for better times. One had been that the Princess of Mtobacco Niñanuson had been abducted by hunky tribesmen of Itallia. The Elders said it was part of the curse. The year before that, this same princess was also caged for thirty days by some amazonas in Hispania. Things were looking up, however, for the Elders also declared that the delicate, catty-eyed Princess would return soon and restore some balance. Meanwhile, the small village of Kubo de CÍrculo (where Princess Niñanuson orginated from) was being led by another princess, Lady Jisella de Ii-el. She took care of everything in order for the tribe to grow, as it was being threatened by the barbaric pagans of (once-a-promising-tribe) Pseudoeuropa. But the seer named Erikqa de Daimos, one of the remaining elders of the Kubo de Círculo, had always been optimistic and foretold that the two villages fates would be reversed. The people hoped again, because the Princess of Mtobacco sent the Kingdom a telepathic message that she was dying (to go home). She informed the Orgullosos, the people of the Kingdom, that she too had been studying the magick cyberspacia, but the good version, take note. Perhaps, in her much anticipated return to the Kingdom, she could utilize her handy magickal skills to vanquish the Evil Enchantress once and for all.

Even the Knights of the Circle of Hispanistas were not spared from the evil of the nasty enchantress. She had abducted some of them in the past, including the mighty Sir Ian de McCalifornia, Sir Bingers de Tierra Pura, Lady Erikqa de Daimos, Lady Ronski von Nursing, Lady Lizzy de Embajada, Lady Marita de la Regla, Lady Dama de Noche Blossoms, Lady Rojo de Peppelzuport, Lady Karina de Farview, Lady Rhodina de Gloria, and the Princess Niñanuson herself. Including the Wizard Asnallar de Seekyub, who authored most of the laws and spread the news in the sacred chamber of the Kingdom of Orgullo and who studied the good version of cyberspacia magick, have fought the Evil Enchantress in the past. All of these courageous men and women survived, and the King-and-Queen could not have been more proud of his/her babies, that was why he graduated them from being mere free citizens to being highley-respected knights. The casualties, however, were Lady Mel de Fresno and Sir Donsquixote de Hotel. They fought a good battle in the wars that took their brave, young lives.

But the Evil Enchantress still ruled in the swamp called Halitoshire despite the collective effort of the Knights and the people of the Kingdom. She put a curse on the people and it hoped to squander any hopes of restoration. This was how the legend of sleepy Orgullo started.

To be continued...

What will happen now to the knights and the Kingdom? Be back in a wicked continuation in Book 2 next issue.

Thanks for the e-mails, guys. See you next issue.

Orgullo News Online. Enchanting.

Next issue: BOOK 2: The Legend of Sleepy Orgullo: The Fountain of Menace.